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Inner Aqueous Compartment

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oh, internets (points finger) [30 Nov 2007|04:01pm]
patron today wanted to post an ad for a house for rent on craigslist. he needed to put in a photo. he had no concept of how digital photography works, or what craigslist actually is. his solution:
1. ask the reference librarian (me) to borrow my cell phone.
2. since all cell phones have cameras, he would use my cell phone camera to take the picture.
3. i would make that cameraphone photo into a paper printout. the method i would use to do this would be to wave the phone over the printer. as the patron explained, this is how his friend had successfully printed from his cameraphone.
4. i would supply the patron with the craigslist address, which he was having trouble finding. "their office must be somewhere in los angeles, but it is not listed in the yellow pages." he stated. "perhaps it is in Burbank or Pasadena or another nearby city."
5. i would mail the picture and his ad copy to the craigslist company.
6. craig and his colleagues would post it on his list, which is distributed to many people.

he seemed not-crazy and i didn't know where to start to help to disabuse him of any of these technology notions. instead, i answered point 1: "no, you cannot borrow my cell phone." and he took off for the local public library, to see if their librarians will let him borrow their cell phones.
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at least they are not my pants [05 Oct 2007|09:15am]
#1 UGH: i am sick with a sickness attacking my nose/sinuses/throat. ugh.

#2 UGH: despite being sick, i am mostly mobile, and tried to do some laundry. i sorted clothes into piles by color, then picked up a pair of josh's pants and started going through the pockets. a wingless ant was crawling on the pants. no biggie; i killed it and kept going through his pockets. another ant was there. so i killed it...only to see another. and another. in all, i saw about 40 ants on/in the pants before i shrieked and hurled them onto the balcony and closed the sliding door. so now the ant-filled pants are out there and i am in here and it is too scary to deal with them.
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bus stories is about all i'm good for [19 Sep 2007|05:12pm]
i was sitting next to a woman with a 5-year-old girl on her lap. the girl is grabbing the hands of and otherwise playing with the 2-year-old boy in the seat in front of her, who was on his mom's lap too (the two pairs were not related nor had ever met before the bus trip, as far as i could tell). the kids are smiling and laughing and then suddenly both started making this weird crooning noise. it was a sound from deep in their throats, like saying "um" with food in your mouth, and they both rose & fell in pitch a few times before hitting this strange resonant chord that perfectly fit with the bus engine noise. they sang for about 30 seconds and then started playing and laughing again.
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"it's so exclusive, you haven't heard of it" [03 Aug 2007|09:44am]
on the bus today, normal girl tries to start conversation with incredibly nerdy girl. normal girl asks questions; nerd answers with one word, and doesn't ask any questions in return. normal girl finally gets nerdy to talk in full sentences about upcoming vacations.

nerd girl: "and in october, i'm going to an outdoor camping and art jamboree."
normal girl: "oh, sounds cool. where is it?"
nerd girl: "it's in nevada. it's called burning man."
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how old are you again? [13 May 2007|11:54am]
OMG i hate apartment-hunting. i hate it so much that instead of doing it today i mopped the floor. i just hate picking a place and dealing with money/budgeting and trying to figure out if i could work around the inconvenience of having to buy a refrigerator and etc.

plus, feeling morally bankrupt and dumb and young and boring as hell. cannot make small talk at parties without coming home and beating myself up for hours afterward about all the stupid things i said which i am sure everyone else forgot about right away...but WHAT IF THEY DIDN'T? and that ellipsis and ensuing panicked all-caps voice in my head is why i did not sleep last night.

i am now going to be an adult and go look at 2 open houses for apartments. i can do this. and then later "don quixote" which is a much better book that i expected it to be from its reputation. old comic novels are wasted on young adults.
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only in LA [30 Apr 2007|06:48pm]
actual discussion from work meeting today regarding a coworker's baby shower:
"she is registered at baby time."
"where is that?"
"on ventura, near the holistic pet food store."
"oh, metapuppy?"
"no, the other holistic pet food store."

at which point i and coworker mike started laughing out loud.

plus i went to berkeley and it was fun, it is like ann arbor without any good middle eastern food. didn't get to go to any of the restaurants that spacesquid recommended, as they were all closed the days i was there or too far, but i had a great time with woquinoncoin and djjon. plus we located actual good beer in california, so i was pleased.
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north ahoy [17 Apr 2007|09:52pm]
[ mood | numan! ]

things have been weird/bad lately. OMG i am using subject headings and subheadings to organize my thoughts. the opac sucks! you know you loved that utube video.

goin to berkeley this sunday-tuesday. any recommendations for what i should do there? i've never been.

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better than sugarbombs [13 Apr 2007|10:31pm]
[ mood | crumbs ]

new favorite all-purpose exclamation to replace swearing: OH CRUMBS.

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can anyone shop there? [30 Mar 2007|05:13pm]
almost every day since i moved here, there's this ASSHOLE playing their annoying car horn, usually between 7 AM-11 PM. it is sort of a mix between the mexican hat dance and the woody the woodpecker theme music, a multi-trumpet, slightly-off-key fanfare of pissing me the hell off. they play it 1-6 times in a row, so my frustration just builds as it repeats.

i vowed to key the car that had that horn, if i ever found it.

i found it today.

it's a big white delivery van with a roll-up back. they drive, find a parking spot, then play the horn a few times. people come out, they roll up the back of the van: it's a portable store with veggies, fruits, frozen/cold foods, meats, etc. it is pretty amazing. i don't know if it's a special store or open to anyone. but i don't think i can key it, the dudes driving it look pretty buff.
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they're so euphonious [23 Mar 2007|11:02am]
i find it hilarious that "bards and minstrels" is the second-most-used tag for books on amazon.com. and even funnier, the biggest subcategory within "bards and minstrels" is "magic carpet ride." WTF?
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good or not good? [22 Mar 2007|01:32pm]
1. dude in full-on punk regalia (black, scuffed-up, safety-pin and spike-bedecked leather jacket; 2 foot tall bright green mohawk) driving a 2005 BMW.

2. man with awful four-foot-radius BO practicing his speech for class in the alcove outside my office, giving me the stink-eye as i dare to walk through his oratory space to get to my desk.

3. squirrels with weird mangy furless spots.
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what the hell [20 Mar 2007|08:01pm]
my brain is throwing out old-people phrases/words like "gems," "up to snuff," etc. i apologize to those who heard or read these jarring and embarassing blurts. does this mean i need to actually talk with people more?
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$6.00 gas, $2.50 recycling [17 Mar 2007|02:40pm]
you know i bet people in california would recycle more if it wasn't so damned hard to do it. only certain places are allowed to take your recyclables and give you $ for em (for non-CA residents: you pay a deposit to buy anything packaged in plastic or glass; you get the deposit back if you take your stuff to a state-operated recycle center, or you can leave them with the trash and "independent contractors," who are sometimes real companies and sometime just homeless people going through the trash, pick them up and they get the deposit). since i am from MI and fiercely love deposits i was not going to allow an independent contractor to get my deposit money! and there is my folly of the day.

i went online and found out the above and located my nearest 4 recycle centers open on saturdays. i took my 55 beer bottles (collected over the past 3.5 months, i'm not that much of a lush) and drove to von's, 1 mile east of my house. their recycle center was open according to the state website, but no one was there, so i couldn't turn in my bottles for the 4 cents per bottle that i so richly deserved. i drove to the next recycle center, 2 miles further east. it was open, but they were not accepting any more glass. i turned around and drove 5 miles west to ralph's, where their recycle center was closed altogether because their bins were full.

a toothless, barefoot, cigarette-smoking woman in a housedress walked by and gave me a tip: albertson's on ocean park and lincoln has a recycle center. so i drive 6 miles west, turn in my bottles, get a receipt, stand in line at the customer service center for 10 minutes to get my $2.50 in cash, and drive home.

one thing that really annoyed me about this trip was that each recycling center has a sign that says, "we cannot serve customers who bring recyclables in a shopping cart." yet they really mean "we don't accept recyclables from homeless people," because i used a shopping cart to manage my bottles and nobody said anything to me.

i wish i had a friend who i could strong-arm into joining me on these sorts of trips. it would have made all of it a lot better.
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sighting! [18 Feb 2007|10:16pm]
i think i saw weird al today at the farmer's market. now i know i've made it!
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drupelets [13 Feb 2007|04:47pm]
dehydrated raspberries are weirdly textured and spongy and very intensely flavored. they're kinda blowing my mind right now. also, dehydrated blueberries taste like freezer burned blueberries, with just a little touch of chemical-tainted air about them.

also i think it is lame for the store where i bought this trail mix of iniquity to call raisins "berries." they're not.
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ick [04 Feb 2007|02:37pm]
i am now the proud owner of a vacuumatronical device. the person who lived here before me apparently never vacuumed. i just did my room and the living room (about 400 square feet total) and the dust bag is full to the point of overflowing. ycuk. but at least now i can walk on the carpet without feeling little gritty bits.
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(i look like a) woman with a plan [26 Jan 2007|10:36pm]
[ mood | bored ]

i keep getting asked for directions in LA & on campus, which is always awkward cause i rarely know where i am going. For some reason, 90% off the askers are obviously ESL folks...so i figure my picture's in some your first trip to america guidebook, with the caption "ask this woman for directions, no matter where you are."

4 comments|post comment

i never noticed that i live in a bowl [23 Jan 2007|09:51am]
[ mood | happy ]

my mom came to visit this weekend and it was the most consumeristic weekend i've had since i moved. we went to a mall! it was so totally california.

we also went to venice beach, which was hilarious and freaky, but my mom was scared of the weirdos so we went to santa monica beach instead. there was some sort of hippie convention going on at that beach, so we could not escape the weirdos (i didn't mind, i love weirdos). they had a radio playing goofy literock from the 60s and people juggling and doing gymnastic exercises. there was a woman in a torso cast using a hula hoop, which seemed to make it simutaneously easier and harder to hula hoop. i also watched some lady surfers and i was really impressed. i assume that is a very hard sport, but i want to try it. who wants to be a fool with me?

because i am a huge museum dork we went to the museum of the american west in griffith park (land for which was donated by griffith j griffith, WTF is up with giving your kid the same first and last names?). the museum was awesome and if you come to town, you should go, and i'll come with you just to see the cowboy memorabilia. we also went to the getty, which was beautiful. i didn't get to spend enough time gawking at the photos, but did see some great paintings.

i'm beginning to think that much of my sadness/moodiness of the past was related to living without sunlight for so long each year. i have more reasons to be sad now than i've ever had before, yet i feel good every day.

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exploring [15 Jan 2007|04:04pm]
[ mood | tired ]

on friday i ate at real food daily avec adizzi. it is an all-vegan restaurant. i love going to a place where i can order everything on the menu, except it is *so* hard to decide what to eat. it was delicious and i am now on a quest to eat all the tempeh reuben sandwiches offered in north america. then we drew pictures and discussed california's bad donuts. (the long johns which in MI are filled with custard or cream? in LA, they are just donut, no fillings. sacriledge!)

on saturday kelly came to visit and we went to a friend-of-a-friend's birthday party in a hollywood bar. i realized that since i am not actively in the business of being a struggling writer/actor/director, i am less than nothing to many people. i talked to 5 strangers for 10 minutes apiece, all of whom were aspiring actors/etc., and none of them asked me anything about myself, like even my name. i did learn a lot about what second assistant directors do. i am just not aggressively self-promoting enough to jump into the hollywood fray (since nearly every other woman there was wearing a corset and was otherwise turned out to the nines, i suspect it may also have been because i was makeupless and in a tshirt). damn goood thing i am a librarian, as among my people i am beautiful and outgoing, but among these people i am a boring gorilla. thankfully kelly also brought some other friends from college and they were really fun and funny, so i had a good time.

i was reading the "not for tourists" guide to LA and they called the bar we went to in hollywood a "venerable dive bar." yet the bar was decorated in expensive wood paneling, the chairs were velvet-upholstered armchairs, the booth seats were sumptiously soft and comfy, and they did not serve any domestic beers (and imported ones were $8/bottle!). either my definition of dive bar is wrong, or the not for tourists guide to LA is full of lies. i suspect the second.

the internets is on at my house! i am happy.

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oh noes! [11 Jan 2007|09:46am]
the internets are down at my house, not to be restored until monday. i did not know how sad this would make me. i feel like i am living in 1995 again.
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